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The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak


 I'm posting this in memoriam for actress Tawny Kitaen who passed away this week at only 59 years old.

Most of you will remember Kitaen as the woman who rolled around on a car in a Whitesnake video. I on the other hand remember her for her role as Gwendoline in one of the strangest movies that I have ever seen.

The movie The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak is one bizarre ride. It starts out as a cheap Raiders of the Lost Ark ripoff and ends as some sort of surreal sex and bondage fantasy.

I have to admit that I am walking a fine line in this post. I want to keep everything as family friendly as I can, yet still be able to convey just how strange this movie really is. That's really hard because The Perils of Gwendoline is naughty movie ... a very naughty movie. There are girls in armor and thongs fighting to the death. There are girls in armor and thongs riding chariots that are pulled by more women in armor and thongs.

No Really!


I just wanted to prove that I wasn't telling a fib.

Getting back to the strangeness. There are topless vampires. There are more topless women who torture the male lead by rubbing their bodies all over him.

I'm honestly trying to keep this as G rated as possible. I really am.

Maybe seeing the trailer will help:

That's literally all the footage that they could extract from the film that didn't contain women in some sort of undress.

There is actually a plot for this movie that goes something like this:

Captured by a trio of thieves at a Chinese port, Gwendoline (Kitaen), a courageous but naïve girl, is sold to a local casino-brothel owner, but, rescued by Willard ( Brent Huff), a mercenary adventurer, she is reunited with her maid, Beth (Zabou Brietman), after the latter's abduction by the same thieves who had earlier kidnapped Gwendoline. Hired to transport an illegal cargo, Willard reluctantly agrees to take both women with him after Beth, withholding information vital to his livelihood, promises to divulge it only if he becomes their guide. Gwendoline, who has come to China to capture the butterfly that eluded her father, who had staked his professional reputation as a scientist on obtaining the insect, offers Willard $2,000 to take her and Beth with him to the land of the Yik-Yak, in which the butterfly may be found. 

 After escaping from the cannibal tribe of Kiops, the trio find the butterfly, but as she is about to capture it, Beth is captured and Gwendoline and Willard must enter an all-women tribe's underground lair to rescue the maid. The tribe is the vestige of the city of Pikaho, a primary diamond mining centre, which was swallowed by a volcanic eruption in the 12th century. Afterwards, the entire male population perished due to a disease spread by the eruption, and Pikaho turned into an all-women society considered nothing more than a legend. To ensure the survival of Pikaho, its Queen (Bernadette Lafont) allows a victor among them to mate with any man who visits or is captured by the tribe. Aided by Beth and the Queen's henchman, D'Arcy (Jean Rougerie), Gwendoline, disguised as a Pikaho warrior, wins this right. 

 While Gwendoline and Willard make love before the Queen, D'Arcy activates the volcano and he, the Queen, and the citizens of Pikaho are killed as Gwendoline, Beth and Willard escape. In the process, Willard is able to capture the elusive butterfly.

Let's not beat around the bush, this is a terrible movie. So terrible that sex and ample nudity couldn't make it the least bit interesting. 

You have to remember that I saw this movie as a teenager and I still found it boring and unstimulating (if you get my drift). Let's be honest, a movie like this should have blown my poor teenage mind, yet it was so strange and over the top with it's bizarre depictions of sexual fetishes that it actually wasn't entertaining.

The stuff in this movie would have made Barberalla blush ... and that isn't actually a good thing.

Look at this crazy fight scene! Again I urge that this be viewed by adults only! There is no nudity but there are women in thongs,


That pretty much illustrates what kind of movie we are talking about here. Can you believe that this movie was actually in theaters back in 1984? Not Grindhouse theaters but mainstream ones, Can you also believe that they let two sixteen year old boys buy tickets and watch it?

Things were much different back then.

Rest in peace Tawny Kitaen, you were so beautiful but the movie you were in was more then terrible.

Let's Rock!


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